An X-rated Cookie Bake is a Crazy-Ass Place to Start Anything

I had no intention of beginning my blog like this. But isn't that just like life? So here goes. I have to share this story. We had a little holiday cookie bake last night at Grandma's house. The x-rated variety. You want to see pictures, don't you, you naughty person? I don't have any yet, although I will share a link to my favorite showcase of baking disasters later on.

I did none of the actual work involved with baking cookies. I was there to shovel Grandma's driveway, take Grandma to the store, put lights on Grandma's potted plant, listen to Grandma's Christmas Carols from the 1920s, hold Grandma's hand as she snored in her rocker -- that sort of thing. But I learned a heck of a lot about what's involved in baking cookies. More than I perhaps wanted to know.

It was my wife and daughter who did most of the work in the kitchen. My daughter, who's back from her first semester at college, decided she'd use the angel cookie cutter to make gingerbread men. It's not hard. You stamp the dough with the angel cutter, make two slices in the angel's skirt, remove a triangle of dough, and instead of an angel in a dress you have a man wearing a sporty pair of gingerbread slacks. It's the magic of Christmas!

The only problem with this little operation is that if the two slices you've made in the angel's skirt don't meet exactly as they're supposed to in the angel's little crotch, you have created a very naked gingerbread man with a perfect, anotomically correct penis. Oh, crap. And you've created this festive little holiday treat in Grandma's kitchen, under Grandma's very nose! It's a good thing Grandma don't see too well anymore.

And if you really want a good laugh, then you need to take a look at some of these holiday disasters: http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/