Stranger in a Stranger World: Strange Tales

Will you butt out, already?

Welcome Stranger

Some of my best friends are total strangers. Yeah. Because I met them online, see? Kind of like you and I are meeting right now through these words that you're reading . . . except not really. It's a house of mirrors. The fact is that no matter how much time you and I spend together in this world, I'll still know my dog waaaay better than I know you. And by the way, do not make fun of my dog. I don't care how dumb, how lazy, how useless he is. Do not mock man's best friend. After all, he can sit, roll over, play dead, etc. Most of the classic dog stuff. And you've not proven to me that you can do any of that. So you may not be smarter than my dog.

I'm playing with you, of course. But it's still not as much fun as playing with my real, live dog. Even though you claim to be a real, live person. What's wrong with you? Heheh. Nothing's wrong with you, silly. It's this world we live in. A world in which we can be friends with people about whom we know almost nothing. If you search these pages carefully, you may find that you know a tiny bit more about me than when you started. You may also find yourself with a raging migraine, an overwhelming sense of ennui, and an intense desire to plunge your head into an ice-cold tub of tranquilizers. Funny, that's exactly what my veterinarian said about my dog at his last check-up. Hmmm. That proves nothing, I hasten to add.

Still interested? Pull up a chair. I'll gladly welcome you to my online circle of friends. It doesn't matter who you are, as long as you're able to answer the following riddle: What do two virtual friends have in common? Let's see. Think this one over. They're virtual, which means they don't exist. They have that in common, so the answer is . . . have you guessed it? The answer is: nothing. Hey, you're clever. Maybe you are smarter than my dog, after all! Welcome, old buddy, old pal. Stick around for a while. Activate the icemaker. Break out the aspirin. In no time at all, you'll find that you've become another Stranger in a Stranger World, like me.

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Strange Tales