Friday, June 25, 2010

Warning: Big Fat Lies Ahead



Several days ago, I got an email from zella at grammatically motivated (the same zella from zella kate -- do I sense this woman has a future in the publishing industry?). Her email stated that I had a limited amount of time to accept the award she'd offered me on her blog.

In the general flow of busyness I didn't think much more about it until last night. I was working late in my office when suddenly the window over my desk exploded and what felt like a concrete fist knocked me out of my chair. When I picked myself up off the floor, lying on my desk surrounded by pieces of my window, was a brick. And wrapped around the brick was this:
I suppose thanks are in order, (???) so let me begin by thanking my wonderful neighbor, Lucy, who helped me clean up the mess and who stayed until the police arrived. She also managed to eat all the hummus in my refrigerator.

The officer who responded to the call, Sergeant Scott Free, was a veritable Sherlock Holmes. He soon had my dog in handcuffs, but thankfully I managed to make bail so at least I won't have to visit Patches in jail. I'll get you a lawyer, Patches! Just as soon as Free returns my new Porsche, which he siezed as evidence for some reason.

I also want to thank Spammy, my insurance agent, who's been a real sport through the process of filing the claim to get the window replaced. He tells me that just as soon as he gets back from his cruise somewhere in the Fiji Islands, he'll get on it.





Phew. That ought to qualify me for this award! Anyone in the Stranger Links is welcome to it and may learn more about it here.

3 comments:

  1. Tee Hee I say you definitely earn the liar award, Eric! This was quite funny. :D

    Was that really a brick I thr--I mean, some random hoodlum--threw in your window?

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  2. You can have your dog once you give me the keys to your Porsche! Er...you know, fingerprints, and all.

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  3. Hey, thanks for being part of my awards ceremony, u2.

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